


don't wanna push too far

by insomnia_anonymous



Series: ain't letting you go [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Awkwardness, Bisexual Female Character, But she's trying, F/F, F/M, Lesbian Character of Color, You can't change my mind, also i have no idea if i'm going with the canon explanation of how oliver died, awkward mia, best mom iris, confused nora, i'm still confused on which version of nora this is btw, it doesn't match my mia, mia isn't sure how to do this romance stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29022420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insomnia_anonymous/pseuds/insomnia_anonymous
Summary: mia's never beenawkwardwith a girl before. guess nora is changing a lot of things.
Relationships: Mentioned Barry Allen/Iris West, Mia Smoak/Nora West-Allen
Series: ain't letting you go [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680472
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	don't wanna push too far

**Author's Note:**

> >   
>  _hey guys! surprise! i decided to redo my xstar fics now that i've had more experience writing! i love my rare-pair and want to do them justice. i will be deleting the old version Feb 1st - i don't know if it will be available again but for now, enjoy this newer and in my opinion, better origin for xstar._   
> 
> 
>   
> 

Doing her best to keep the grin off her face as she read the text she’d just gotten, Nora tried to get herself back under control. It was stupid the way her body reacted whenever she got a text from Mia; they weren’t anything but friends, but her body didn’t seem to care. Her heart raced and butterflies spread in her stomach, a shot of adrenaline sometimes ran through her veins. All from a single text. 

“Who’s got you smiling so wide?” Iris asked as she sipped at the coffee in front of her.

Nora sometimes hated how easily her mom could read her — or maybe she just was terrible at hiding her feelings. It was her own fault; normally she didn’t even look at her phone when she was spending time with her family, but when her phone buzzed she had been desperate to check it, just to see if it was Mia. 

“No one,” Nora said as she fumbled with her phone, shoving it back in her jacket pocket. “Just a text.”

“From who?” Iris raised a brow, and Nora was pretty sure she was hiding a grin behind her coffee mug. 

“Just a friend, it’s not important — How’s Dad?” It was a poor attempt at changing the subject, but Nora figured she might as well try.

Of course, her mom didn’t let her get away with it. “You know how your father is; you facetimed him last night.” Iris set her mug down and sighed. “If you really don’t want to talk about it, then I’ll drop it, but I’m here, I just want you to know that.” 

It was confusing, this thing with Mia, and Nora trusted her mom, but her parents could be overprotective, something about a future version of herself getting erased. It was confusing when they tried to explain, but she got the gist of it. Still, there wasn’t anyone else she trusted as much as her mom. 

“Fine. Just let me tell you the whole story before you say anything, please?” Nora chewed at her lip and watched her mom carefully. She knew that her parents didn’t want her hanging around the wrong crowds and going to college parties. They’d warned her many times about peer pressure, and she’d for the most part ignored it in high school, but away from her parents it had been easy to just… go with the flow. But going to the party wasn’t the point, it was about Mia.

“Okay, I promise.” Iris nodded, bringing her coffee up to sip at it.

“All right, so I went to this party a few months ago — you promised not to talk until after I finished!” Nora hurried to say as her mom started to open her mouth. Iris clamped her mouth shut and raised a hand in surrender. “I went to this party and realized it totally wasn’t my scene, but while I was there I met this girl. Mom, she was so pretty. My brain stopped working. She was  _ so _ pretty, it was so embarrassing, but she actually liked me? At least, we talked, and she didn’t run away screaming.” It was frustrating to think about how much of a gay mess she was in front of Mia the first time they met, but she couldn’t blame herself too much. “We talked, she told me very little about herself, but what she did tell me was interesting — apparently she has a reputation. I don’t think she even goes to college; she just goes to the parties. But she had to leave, and as she was leaving she kinda stopped, turned back to me and asked for my phone number, so I gave it to her.” Nora shrugged and slumped a bit in her seat.

“Sweetie—” Iris started but stopped when Nora held a hand up.

“Not done.” Nora glared before taking a deep breath. “So, like, some stuff happened, and she eventually texted me back after weeks of not texting. We talked about it. She just... had some weird thought in her head that she was saving me time and energy by not letting me get to know her. That she’s some sort of lost cause or something,” Nora said with a frown. “We text now. Sometimes we call each other, but that’s it, we’re just friends.”

“Is that it?” Iris asked after a moment of silence.

“I don’t know, I’m just confused.” Nora rested her chin on her hand. “Sometimes I feel like she wants to get closer or tell me more than just surface-level things, but then she just pulls away so abruptly.”

Iris looked intensely at Nora for a long moment. “Your dad and I, we did our best to raise you with as much love and care as we could, and we wanted you to feel safe expressing whatever you were feeling, but some people weren’t given that kind of upbringing and it makes it hard for them to communicate,” Iris said slowly, thinking carefully about her wording. “Your dad has had many friends who’ve suffered a lot of trauma over the years, it makes it hard for people to feel comfortable expressing their emotions. They feel like if they open themselves up at all, it just leaves them open for more pain and misery.”

“That makes sense.” Nora thought back to the few conversations she’d had in person with Mia. “She told me that her parents are dead. I don’t know much else about her; we don’t talk about deeper stuff, but there was that. She also was confused when I cared about her at all, because I didn’t know her well — she didn’t get why I could care about a random stranger.” 

“If you want to get closer to this girl, it’s going to be a lot of effort on your part, and of course she’s going to have to put work in as well, but you will most likely have to initiate things. Especially if she gets comfortable, she won’t want things to change.” Iris reached over and grabbed her daughter’s hand. “But trust me when I say that some of the best people your dad and I have ever known started exactly like this girl.”

“Okay.” Nora beamed as she squeezed her mom’s hand. “You always know what to say.” 

“That’s why you should always talk to me.” Iris smirked, and Nora rolled her eyes.

— 

If there was one thing Nora wasn’t expecting when she was returning from her coffee date with her mom, it was Mia leaning next to her front door. They hadn’t seen each other in person since the night at the hospital, and seeing Mia there wearing what looked like a silk shirt, leather jacket draped over that and dark jeans, Nora felt her mouth go dry. 

“There you are!” Mia noticed her and pushed off the wall.

“Here I am.” Nora wheezed out a chuckle, giving herself one last second to ogle Mia before moving to unlock her door. “What’re you doing here? I mean, not that you aren’t welcome, but we haven’t exactly seen each other in a while, so it’s kind of unexpected.” Nora pushed her way into her room and did her best to stop rambling. She could feel her face heating up as she kept babbling. 

“Yeah, I know, um, can I come in?” Turning swiftly at Mia’s question to see her still standing outside the door, Nora raised a brow. Mia’s usual confident demeanor was gone: she had her hands in her jacket pockets and was looking at her feet. 

“Yeah, that’s why I left it open.” Nora watched as Mia nodded but kept her eyes on her feet. Still feeling the caffeine racing through her veins, Nora wanted to smack herself for not ordering the decaf like her mom told her to. “So what’s up?”

“Right, I’m not good at this. Actually, I’ve never done this, so just, give me a chance okay?” Mia’s eyes hesitantly met Nora’s, and it made her suck in a breath.

“A chance at what?” Nora folded her arms, she wasn’t looking for games, but she had a feeling that wasn’t what this was.

“To ask you on a date?” It came out like a question, and Nora wanted to coo at the flush on Mia’s face. “A date, yeah. I’ve never done one of those, but I kind of like you, and I heard that’s what people do when they like other people… so yeah. A date.” Mia cleared her throat at the end. Her eyes were flitting to everything except Nora’s face now. It made Nora soften her demeanor immediately, dropping her arms to her sides and taking a few steps towards Mia.

It hurt to see how Mia tensed when she got close enough to touch her, but Nora stopped immediately, just staying where she was. “A date huh?” Nora smiled.

“Yeah, I don’t know what we’d do. Like I said, I’ve never done this, but movies are popular, apparently.” Mia shrugged as if trying to sound nonchalant, but the flush was still there.

“I like movies.” Nora kept the smile on her face from turning into a beaming grin, not wanting to freak Mia out.

“Okay, that’s — good, movie, um, I don’t know what’s playing, it’s not… just, pick something, and I’ll pick you up.” Mia started to turn but paused. “Text about when?” 

“Yeah, we can text about when.” Nora wanted to reach out and ask her to stay, but she let her go, watching as Mia made a quick exit out her door. 

As soon as the door shut, the beaming smile she’d been holding back split her face, and she burst into giggles. Who knew Mia could do insecure so cutely?

— 

They had barely talked the entire date, which, to be fair, they were in a theater. But as they walked back to Nora’s dorm, she felt her heart dropping. It wasn’t quite what she expected of the date. Maybe she expected too much. Mia hadn’t even tried to hold her hand. They were walking slowly side by side, their arms occasionally brushing. It sent shivers down Nora’s spine, and she wanted to scream. No, she wanted to talk.

But then she remembered what her mom had said and swallowed. She had to initiate. “Did you like the movie?” Nora peaked over at Mia who startled as the silence broke.

“Oh, um, I… honestly wasn’t paying attention.” Mia frowned.

“What, why?” Nora copied Mia’s frown, worried she’d picked a genre Mia hated. “Did you hate it?”

“No! No, it’s not that, I just… was kinda staring at you.” Mia muttered the final words and Nora stopped dead in her tracks. How had she not noticed? Sure the few times she’d glanced over at Mia their eyes had met but the entire time? “I’m sorry, that was creepy.” Mia stood in front of her now looking apologetic, but Nora shook her head.

“No, that was actually kinda sweet.” Nora smiled softly at Mia. “Can I tell you something?” Mia nodded. “During the movie, I kept wishing you’d hold my hand.” 

Mia stared at Nora for a moment, eyes wide. But after shuffling her feet and flexing her hands, Mia seemed to snap out of it and then reached over and grabbed Nora’s hand in her own. “C’mon, it’s getting late.” 

Nora let Mia gently pull her along, trying to memorize the way her hand felt. It was going really well until she reached the knuckles. They were rough, scabbed, almost feeling deformed in a way, and she came to a stop, jerking Mia with her. 

“What, what’s wrong?” Mia looked at her worriedly but Nora just brought her hand up to look at the knuckles she’d felt with her fingers. “Oh.”

“What… Mia, what happened?” Nora glanced between the hand in her own and Mia’s face.

“It’s nothing, c’mon.” Mia tried to make Nora move, but she refused, and it made Mia let out a huff. “I get angry, all right? I get angry.” 

“So you what? Hit stuff?” Nora narrowed her eyes.

“Sometimes.” Mia grumbled. “ I told you at the party. The three F’s, fuck, fight or forget. Sometimes the fuck part wasn’t enough for me. I didn’t… this wasn’t how I wanted you to find out about this.” The expression on Mia’s face made Nora’s heart twist. It looked resigned, like this was a breaking point or something. “I get angry, but I don’t hurt people I care about — I promise.” 

“Hey, I believe you. This doesn’t change anything.” Without thinking, Nora placed a gentle kiss on the knuckles before dropping their joined hands back down. “You’re right, it’s getting late, c’mon.” This time it was Nora who pulled Mia after her. 

— 

Trying to study was pointless, and Nora knew it. Still, she stared at the text in front of her until eventually she let out a huff and tossed the book across her room. No work was going to get done while she had Mia on her mind, and since her date last night, that was all that was on her mind. It was frustrating. Nora didn’t want to be in this deep already, but she could feel herself sinking into the mystery of Mia. She had so many questions and no answers. She wondered if it was her mom’s journalistic curiosity that had been passed down to her, or maybe her dad’s scientific mind, but the more she thought, the more she didn’t think it was either. 

It wasn’t hard to see both in herself, but it was more than academic curiosity with Mia. Opening her phone, she smiled at the last text she’d been sent. 

_ had a gud time. hope u did 2 _

Well, she’d get her answers, even if it took a few dozen more dates. She could live with that. 

_ I did!!! It’s my turn to take you on one! xP _

**Author's Note:**

> >   
> _i want to shout-out ****_ **[@noreasonatall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/noreasonatall/pseuds/noreasonatall)** for beta-ing even this piece - that's right. my supergirl beta even beta'd this for me.  
>  _leave a kudos if you liked it & comment about any changes you thought were better than others! oh, also, check out my **[tumblr](https://ins0mnia-an0nym0us-au.tumblr.com/)**_  
>   
> 


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